








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3755 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5412 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4648 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4032 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,128,020 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bergizzle | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Sm4Kage | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | CandyMan- | 47% | 240 |
| #4 | quickrelease | 46% | 173 |
| #5 | WHATWHATWHAT | 45% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sm4Kage | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | CandyMan- | 47% | 240 |
| #4 | quickrelease | 46% | 173 |
| #5 | WHATWHATWHAT | 45% | 236 |
| #6 | Vincentz90 | 41% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHATWHATWHAT | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | CandyMan- | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Vincentz90 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | quickrelease | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sm4Kage | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CandyMan- | 533 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | WHATWHATWHAT | 431 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | quickrelease | 276 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Vincentz90 | 253 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sm4Kage | 135 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sm4Kage | +2.50 | 51 | 68 |
| #2 | CandyMan- | +2.17 | 63 | 72 |
| #3 | Bergizzle | +1.86 | 45 | 71 |
| #4 | quickrelease | -0.07 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | SmQr | -0.77 | 20 | 76 |





