








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1036 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 466 matches | ||
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4362 | 14% |
| Smokes | 10771 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 11834 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 5162 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,652,589 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aXel | 66% | 71 |
| #2 | _tattoo_girl_ | 64% | 61 |
| #3 | DennisDK | 63% | 259 |
| #4 | actiontyp | 60% | 57 |
| #5 | Sattmensch | 54% | 57 |





