








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4599 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3989 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6151 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2821 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4082 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,464,029 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 195 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 73% | 86 |
| #3 | Ezelpigu | 72% | 36 |
| #4 | sherwin | 68% | 62 |
| #5 | ᴍɴꜰʀᴅ | 60% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CosMo | 57% | 60 |
| #10 | ClaNz1 | 55% | 150 |
| #11 | 🆘 ᵴוᴎוƨזᴇṟᵴוᴎ | 54% | 241 |
| #12 | ✪ nick | 46% | 50 |
| #13 | Sheep | 43% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🆘 ᵴוᴎוƨזᴇṟᵴוᴎ | 942 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | ClaNz1 | 429 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Sheep | 352 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 272 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | kao | 248 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ezelpigu | +2.27 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | ClaNz1 | +1.94 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | kao | +1.59 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | CosMo | +1.58 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | +1.22 | 69 | 60 |





