








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1246 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1068 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 958 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1340 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,919 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eM.! | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Stroxx | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | EMPTYANER | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 53% | 79 |
| #5 | Xeniim | 0% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eM.! | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Stroxx | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | EMPTYANER | 57% | 53 |
| #4 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 53% | 79 |
| #5 | Xeniim | 0% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EMPTYANER | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Xeniim | 2 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Stroxx | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | 259 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | EMPTYANER | 109 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | eM.! | 67 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | Stroxx | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Xeniim | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eM.! | +2.82 | 96 | 83 |
| #2 | .#ƞ϶ѵϵᴙᴍἰրᴆ♦_^ | +1.24 | 79 | 79 |
| #3 | EMPTYANER | +0.63 | 91 | 52 |
| #4 | SXTN | +0.35 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | Xeniim | -2.12 | 69 | 49 |





