








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,142 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 863 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1441 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 659 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1179 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $915,786 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xXxcabinƒeverxXx | 48% | 31 |
| #7 | SharkoGX | 47% | 86 |
| #8 | Kobi | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | Ivanovic | 43% | 21 |
| #10 | Who's Your Daddy | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Who's Your Daddy | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Teddy | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | SharkoGX | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Kobi | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Baby Gal | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teddy | 284 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | xXxcabinƒeverxXx | 141 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | SharkoGX | 130 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Who's Your Daddy | 110 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Baby Gal | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |





