








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4807 | 48% |
| Smokes | 2319 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2735 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $992,686 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 381 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._. | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | FuZe | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | EAD[mc] | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Pressy | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | oxyshr3d | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ._. | 1036 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | Pressy | 721 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | FuZe | 626 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #4 | EAD[mc] | 328 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #5 | oxyshr3d | 186 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KermiT | +1.96 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | ._. | +1.63 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | oxyshr3d | +1.15 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | FLAB | +0.83 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | FuZe | -1.17 | 50 | 71 |





