








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 10 matches | 2,304 | |
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 747 | 36% |
| Smokes | 574 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 310 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 419 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,204 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corexer | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Sterzy | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | zykes | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | zero | 100% | 4 |
| #5 | toma | 100% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N0lbazo^4k | 5 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Naxariis | 1 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Corexer | 1 | 0.0167 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N0lbazo^4k | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Vearr | 30 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | toma | 20 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | sapienza | 18 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | skutlae | 16 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toma | +6.67 | 91 | 79 |
| #2 | zykes | +3.78 | 88 | 64 |
| #3 | N0lbazo^4k | +2.36 | 93 | 61 |
| #4 | donksr | +1.95 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | fract ツ | +1.86 | 82 | 70 |





