








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 949 | 26% |
| Smokes | 856 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 772 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,001 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hellwalker | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Paid in Full | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Dak ❟❛❟ | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | millan.dLg | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Shisui | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Paid in Full | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Dak ❟❛❟ | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | millan.dLg | 43% | 30 |
| #5 | Shisui | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | cvuhi[mx] | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paid in Full | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | millan.dLg | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Dak ❟❛❟ | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paid in Full | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | millan.dLg | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dak ❟❛❟ | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shisui | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | cvuhi[mx] | 15 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalE.012 | +1.02 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | Dak ❟❛❟ | -0.19 | 76 | 65 |
| #3 | Paid in Full | -0.56 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | millan.dLg | -1.40 | 63 | 66 |
| #5 | cvuhi[mx] | -1.51 | 50 | 65 |





