








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2056 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3498 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3818 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3891 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,980,282 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan-roos | 13 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Rocc4t | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Tiger.cs [NL] | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Admiraal de Ruyter | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | TonyKalashnikov | 8 | 0.0014 |





