








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4413 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2995 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2379 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2023 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $871,132 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Scrub | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | gl0Ppy kend po fragbite | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | Tank | 55% | 84 |
| #5 | nsj | 54% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mode: Restitutor Orbis | 49% | 71 |
| #9 | Fallshow | 49% | 67 |
| #10 | knoxan | 47% | 32 |
| #11 | AK | 41% | 27 |
| #12 | GarGaMel^ | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsj | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Mr.Lee | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | draggeJR | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Tank | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Mode: Restitutor Orbis | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsj | 440 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | Tank | 234 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fallshow | 174 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr.Lee | 170 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | draggeJR | 130 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK | +3.89 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | Scrub | +2.29 | 62 | 75 |
| #3 | Billy | +1.11 | 64 | 74 |
| #4 | gl0Ppy kend po fragbite | +1.01 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | nsj | +0.99 | 49 | 75 |





