








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 420 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,085 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8168 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6802 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5781 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4334 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,253 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GueRrA | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | blacknight_1990 | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | sharpz | 51% | 108 |
| #4 | Mad_Panda | 47% | 101 |
| #5 | Hans | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vogelbekdier | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Hans | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | sharpz | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Mad_Panda | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | The_Rossy | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The_Rossy | 464 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hans | 210 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | sharpz | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | ReqValhalla | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Fenumeher | 76 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fenumeher | +4.11 | 46 | 54 |
| #2 | sharpz | +2.77 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | blacknight_1990 | +2.23 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | 3hp | -0.67 | 54 | 72 |
| #5 | GueRrA | -0.91 | 30 | 49 |





