








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1806 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2737 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1930 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 986 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $776,321 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kachow | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | DanTamago | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kachow | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | DanTamago | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kachow | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DanTamago | 108 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | kachow | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mittns | +1.30 | 41 | 69 |
| #2 | DanTamago | -1.66 | 13 | 68 |
| #3 | kachow | -2.61 | 39 | 40 |





