








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Wingman | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3433 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5155 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4822 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2358 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,120,845 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Teflonsiili | 35% | 121 |
| #10 | Ari | 34% | 324 |
| #11 | VeliPonteva | 32% | 185 |
| #12 | Korppi | 29% | 35 |
| #13 | kärmez | 26% | 85 |





