








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1616 | 27% |
| Smokes | 901 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2269 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1247 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,935 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samantha | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Malte | 44% | 131 |
| #3 | Lidl Trooper | Heizone | 41% | 87 |
| #4 | xhulia | 41% | 114 |
| #5 | BloMZKii | 34% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samantha | 47% | 17 |
| #2 | Malte | 44% | 131 |
| #3 | Lidl Trooper | Heizone | 41% | 87 |
| #4 | xhulia | 41% | 114 |
| #5 | BloMZKii | 34% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | xhulia | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Lidl Trooper | Heizone | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | samantha | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | BloMZKii | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | 119 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | xhulia | 117 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lidl Trooper | Heizone | 75 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | samantha | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | BloMZKii | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malte | +1.80 | 39 | 55 |
| #2 | samantha | -0.45 | 46 | 40 |
| #3 | tore | -0.90 | 41 | 66 |
| #4 | Lidl Trooper | Heizone | -1.24 | 24 | 65 |
| #5 | xhulia | -2.34 | 33 | 53 |





