








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,658 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1459 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2518 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 447 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $924,819 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melkitavu | 71% | 35 |
| #2 | Lt. Pete Mitchell | 69% | 49 |
| #3 | Y u R a m a R | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Rhéa | 66% | 64 |
| #5 | NiM | 56% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiM | 411 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | MasterFif | 342 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Melkitavu | 115 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rhéa | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lt. Pete Mitchell | 29 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiM | +5.96 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | Lt. Pete Mitchell | +2.34 | 44 | 30 |
| #3 | Melkitavu | +0.87 | 56 | 68 |
| #4 | Rhéa | -0.25 | 50 | 56 |
| #5 | [CPC] mOewa | -0.93 | 20 | 59 |





