








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1356 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 587 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,617 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8017 | 41% |
| Smokes | 5738 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2991 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2871 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,779,989 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEIO | 46% | 41 |
| #2 | Selsko | 42% | 265 |
| #3 | Narnia Business | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | Milo Kerrigan | 37% | 51 |
| #5 | ixixix | 35% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEIO | 46% | 41 |
| #2 | Selsko | 42% | 265 |
| #3 | Narnia Business | 42% | 48 |
| #4 | Milo Kerrigan | 37% | 51 |
| #5 | ixixix | 35% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selsko | 29 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ixixix | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | TEIO | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ixixix | 567 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | Selsko | 541 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #3 | Milo Kerrigan | 158 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Narnia Business | 147 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | TEIO | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rangel | +1.38 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | TEIO | -1.20 | 47 | 69 |
| #3 | ixixix | -1.50 | 42 | 60 |
| #4 | Milo Kerrigan | -2.15 | 39 | 53 |
| #5 | Selsko | -2.31 | 14 | 51 |





