








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13 | 5% |
| Smokes | 51 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 154 | 63% |
| Molotovs | 25 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,997 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEEEVON | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | shizune | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | gravy based agitprop | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | solitaire45 | 6% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEEEVON | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | shizune | 52% | 54 |
| #3 | gravy based agitprop | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | solitaire45 | 6% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shizune | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravy based agitprop | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | shizune | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | solitaire45 | 33 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | DEEEVON | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shizune | +3.26 | 63 | 27 |
| #2 | gravy based agitprop | +2.08 | 45 | 57 |
| #3 | DEEEVON | -1.10 | 46 | 19 |
| #4 | I use Arch btw | -3.29 | 17 | 7 |
| #5 | solitaire45 | -5.47 | 24 | 55 |





