








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2206 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2096 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1113 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1175 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,233,515 of utility $257 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xialma | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | beNda! | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | SuziiiN*† -V- | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | cute poison | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | MauQi! | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beNda! | 135 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | SuziiiN*† -V- | 128 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | MauQi! | 97 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | Xialma | 72 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mett_Iglu | 70 | 0.14 | 1 min |





