








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1220 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1400 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1426 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1225 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,779 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hybrid | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | sindri | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | bragihli | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Septor | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Budver | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hybrid | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | sindri | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | bragihli | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Septor | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | Budver | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sindri | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sindri | 94 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Septor | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | hybrid | 37 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | bragihli | 25 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Budver | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hybrid | +2.76 | 58 | 79 |
| #2 | Septor | +2.27 | 56 | 70 |
| #3 | bragihli | +0.89 | 48 | 70 |
| #4 | stinky | +0.25 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | sindri | +0.02 | 39 | 78 |





