








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 780 matches | ||
| Wingman | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,485 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 272 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18373 | 41% |
| Smokes | 10804 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8084 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 7872 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,787,513 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OtakuPanda | 51% | 170 |
| #2 | floral_tribute | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | 𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕗𝕒𝕟 :) | 50% | 74 |
| #4 | Björnen | 50% | 103 |
| #5 | LIlleN^Lns | 49% | 148 |





