








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1382 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 809 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1279 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 927 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 826 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,017 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lolexmen | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | smite | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RABARRBARRR[M] | +2.19 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | Lolexmen | +1.25 | 94 | 55 |
| #3 | m!xeR | +1.02 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | smite | +0.93 | 74 | 76 |
| #5 | Jaro | +0.44 | 82 | 75 |





