








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 222 | 20% |
| Smokes | 172 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 205 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $489,251 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LinnyBoy | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | neo | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | milk | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | stitchums | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Terance Goodwil | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | neo | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | milk | 51% | 93 |
| #4 | stitchums | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Terance Goodwil | 50% | 30 |
| #6 | Dexter | 49% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 29 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Dexter | 12 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | LinnyBoy | 8 | 0.0494 |
| #4 | neo | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Terance Goodwil | 3 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | milk | 374 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | Dexter | 241 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | neo | 98 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Terance Goodwil | 23 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | LinnyBoy | 16 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LinnyBoy | +3.83 | 91 | 58 |
| #2 | milk | +2.40 | 90 | 61 |
| #3 | neo | +1.23 | 89 | 67 |
| #4 | cmd | -0.40 | 75 | 27 |
| #5 | Dexter | -1.36 | 73 | 46 |





