








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 28% |
| Smokes | 131 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,451 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey V. | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Lenin Macht cs pause | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Schmandfaktor Jr. | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | Charles von Sprayhausen Jr. | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | A B S 1 C H T Jr. | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lenin Macht cs pause | 1 | 0.0208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spray Charles Sr. | 19 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | Schmandfaktor Jr. | 18 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #3 | A B S 1 C H T Jr. | 18 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | L-Capowned Jr. | 12 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Charles von Sprayhausen Jr. | 11 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spray Charles Sr. | +7.89 | 73 | 74 |
| #2 | Ad0nis der Bäinis Jr. | +6.33 | 26 | 77 |
| #3 | Schmandfaktor Jr. | +4.79 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Lenin Macht cs pause | +4.34 | 45 | 42 |
| #5 | Donkey Jr. | +3.57 | 72 | 61 |





