








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 436 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5858 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5491 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3654 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3717 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,398,042 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StoNe | 55% | 182 |
| #2 | zs | 55% | 195 |
| #3 | pily | 53% | 329 |
| #4 | bosse | 52% | 73 |
| #5 | denyo | 52% | 231 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pily | 53% | 329 |
| #4 | bosse | 52% | 73 |
| #5 | denyo | 52% | 231 |
| #6 | schull:E | 51% | 284 |
| #7 | MahonY | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denyo | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | StoNe | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | pily | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | schull:E | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | MahonY | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schull:E | 1231 | 0.20 | 37 min |
| #2 | pily | 1152 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #3 | StoNe | 404 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | zs | 377 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | denyo | 341 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pily | +2.62 | 73 | 77 |
| #2 | zs | +0.77 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | schull:E | +0.71 | 87 | 82 |
| #4 | StoNe | +0.03 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | jopi | -1.01 | 64 | 68 |





