








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1938 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1813 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2831 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2089 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,504 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neoN | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | ✪ Taifunas | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | ? | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | ✪ got milk ? Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶ﻝ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | SintexD | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neoN | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | ✪ Taifunas | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | ? | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | ✪ got milk ? Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶ﻝ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | SintexD | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | neoN | 4 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | SintexD | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ✪ got milk ? Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶ﻝ | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ✪ Taifunas | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ got milk ? Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶ﻝ | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ Taifunas | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | neoN | 57 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | SintexD | 35 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | ? | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Taifunas | +2.86 | 81 | 80 |
| #2 | ✪ got milk ? Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶ﻝ | +1.17 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Slava Ukraine | +0.25 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | ? | -0.90 | 66 | 37 |
| #5 | SintexD | -1.50 | 60 | 56 |





