








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1104 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1541 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1241 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 798 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,770 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco ze apricot | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | stevseNz' | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | FcuK | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | WaWa Cheat 3.3.9 | 50% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco ze apricot | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | stevseNz' | 54% | 41 |
| #3 | FcuK | 53% | 96 |
| #4 | WaWa Cheat 3.3.9 | 50% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaWa Cheat 3.3.9 | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | FcuK | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Coco ze apricot | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | stevseNz' | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WaWa Cheat 3.3.9 | 151 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | stevseNz' | 131 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | FcuK | 73 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Coco ze apricot | 47 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stevseNz' | +3.50 | 74 | 75 |
| #2 | WaWa Cheat 3.3.9 | +2.02 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Coco ze apricot | -0.05 | 32 | 56 |
| #4 | FcuK | -1.15 | 56 | 55 |
| #5 | JAMES69 | -1.52 | 45 | 59 |





