








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 382 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2002 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1337 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1421 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,313 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jlaw | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | sambu2 | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | MaTToPe$uRi | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | miktok | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | MuarCo | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sambu2 | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | MaTToPe$uRi | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | miktok | 48% | 61 |
| #5 | MuarCo | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | ✪ ᵈᵒᵖᵉ | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuarCo | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuarCo | 171 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | MaTToPe$uRi | 166 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | miktok | 147 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ ᵈᵒᵖᵉ | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | sambu2 | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miktok | +2.15 | 75 | 73 |
| #2 | jlaw | +1.07 | 60 | 54 |
| #3 | MuarCo | +0.55 | 61 | 81 |
| #4 | Johnny | +0.41 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | MaTToPe$uRi | -0.44 | 74 | 70 |





