








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 288 matches | ||
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 468 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 53,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18955 | 36% |
| Smokes | 15777 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7383 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 11195 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,217,132 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2019 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





