








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 897 | 25% |
| Smokes | 989 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1221 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 411 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $257,943 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ObiWanKannabis | 53% | 62 |
| #2 | (fr) slim2ks | 53% | 106 |
| #3 | Xgici | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Souxer | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | CyndarK | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | (fr) slim2ks | 53% | 106 |
| #3 | Xgici | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | Souxer | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | CyndarK | 42% | 38 |
| #6 | pad[vic] | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (fr) slim2ks | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ObiWanKannabis | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Xgici | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | pad[vic] | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (fr) slim2ks | 431 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | ObiWanKannabis | 228 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | Souxer | 97 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | pad[vic] | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Xgici | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Souxer | +1.89 | 59 | 69 |
| #2 | ObiWanKannabis | +0.41 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | (fr) slim2ks | -0.11 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | couscous | -0.13 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | pad[vic] | -1.51 | 54 | 66 |





