








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 637 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Faceit | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5992 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6010 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6360 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5325 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3452 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,110,823 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1028 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ligmanugs | 56% | 125 |
| #3 | tellz | 53% | 81 |
| #4 | DEWERLSON | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | andy | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | ҲL4קקЭN | 46% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ҲL4קקЭN | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | DEWERLSON | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Ligmanugs | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | andy | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | tellz | 1 | 0.0007 |





