








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 189 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3300 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2407 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3500 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2789 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3589 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,885 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noggi | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒆 | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | lolihunter | 55% | 249 |
| #4 | zhe | 55% | 210 |
| #5 | gringo | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noggi | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒆 | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | lolihunter | 55% | 249 |
| #4 | zhe | 55% | 210 |
| #5 | gringo | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolihunter | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒆 | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Noggi | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | zhe | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | gringo | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolihunter | 1527 | 0.28 | 42 min |
| #2 | zhe | 850 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | gringo | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒆 | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Noggi | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolihunter | +1.65 | 66 | 71 |
| #2 | kero | +1.05 | 64 | 62 |
| #3 | 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒘𝒊𝒆 | +0.68 | 53 | 58 |
| #4 | zhe | -1.59 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | Noggi | -1.72 | 53 | 60 |





