








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,910 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3011 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2966 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2427 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2506 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,185 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arakorBENGBENG | 17 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | nuGue | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Redrummm_. #ifmaybe | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | R6 | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | _LaBac 🐐 | 7 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Redrummm_. #ifmaybe | 503 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | CANALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL | 497 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #3 | nuGue | 404 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | arakorBENGBENG | 369 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #5 | _LaBac 🐐 | 332 | 0.09 | 7 min |





