








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 476 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3535 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6509 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4475 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4059 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,852,835 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 263 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larsi | 57% | 76 |
| #2 | Vercingetorix | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | LordBrainlessWaterbottle | 51% | 268 |
| #4 | M̶a̶n̶g̶e̶ | 50% | 34 |
| #5 | Relania | 47% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordBrainlessWaterbottle | +3.51 | 56 | 36 |
| #2 | Larsi | +2.88 | 55 | 60 |
| #3 | M̶a̶n̶g̶e̶ | +2.36 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Dome | +1.68 | 70 | 58 |
| #5 | zeroProblemo | +0.65 | 54 | 48 |





