








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 864 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2470 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2988 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3372 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3817 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,173,145 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W | 70% | 97 |
| #2 | Vepe | 70% | 43 |
| #3 | lilwill^GG | 66% | 38 |
| #4 | guglesrunner | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | 56% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | guglesrunner | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | 56% | 266 |
| #6 | Sahti Seppo | 53% | 34 |
| #7 | Señor Doc | 52% | 52 |
| #8 | pucci | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sahti Seppo | 5 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | guglesrunner | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | lilwill^GG | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | pucci | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | 408 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | W | 298 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | guglesrunner | 218 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | lilwill^GG | 163 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Señor Doc | 97 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | valar morghulis | +3.93 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | W | -0.22 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | lilwill^GG | -0.82 | 72 | 73 |
| #4 | nikkonikkoniiiinikkonikkonii | -0.95 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | guglesrunner | -1.10 | 52 | 70 |





