










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 93 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 365 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3834 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4694 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4022 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2050 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,428,245 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .RoҲҳ™ | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘃𝟮𝟭 | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | .xtn | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Svið | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Prul1337 | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗺𝘂𝗹𝘃𝟮𝟭 | 528 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Svið | 501 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | .RoҲҳ™ | 481 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | .xtn | 410 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #5 | phlo | 383 | 0.16 | 9 min |





