








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3015 | 44% |
| Smokes | 517 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 1932 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1335 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $236,746 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | moldy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | BRAS | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | ᠌ ᠌᠌DESPA1R | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | ✨Anthrax✨ | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | 56% | 18 |
| #2 | moldy | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | BRAS | 50% | 48 |
| #4 | ᠌ ᠌᠌DESPA1R | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | ✨Anthrax✨ | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRAS | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRAS | 147 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Gentleman Fish | 80 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | moldy | 56 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | ᠌ ᠌᠌DESPA1R | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | ✨Anthrax✨ | 43 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gentleman Fish | +1.58 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | jg | +0.86 | 60 | 63 |
| #3 | moldy | -0.02 | 44 | 67 |
| #4 | BRAS | -0.29 | 60 | 55 |
| #5 | ᠌ ᠌᠌DESPA1R | -0.61 | 57 | 56 |





