










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 22 matches | 1,389 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 271 | 37% |
| Smokes | 183 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 187 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,387 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trz | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | F!mpen | 41% | 17 |
| #3 | sleggan | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | KONGO | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | misterpanda | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KONGO | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | misterpanda | 33% | 9 |
| #6 | Morti | 31% | 13 |
| #7 | wisp | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | FipplarN | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misterpanda | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | sleggan | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | trz | 1 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Morti | 51 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | F!mpen | 39 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | sleggan | 37 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | KONGO | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | misterpanda | 32 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F!mpen | +1.81 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | sleggan | +1.27 | 74 | 69 |
| #3 | KONGO | -0.10 | 84 | 83 |
| #4 | Morti | -0.14 | 74 | 84 |
| #5 | misterpanda | -0.46 | 71 | 62 |





