








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1576 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1263 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1744 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2060 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $394,422 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jsharpz | 449 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | zmr- | 159 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | bdizzle™∞105ms | 115 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | McNidas | 42 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Derbsterr | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zmr- | +2.83 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | Jsharpz | +2.72 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | bdizzle™∞105ms | +1.18 | 50 | 61 |
| #4 | Gabby | -0.74 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | Derbsterr | -1.15 | 48 | 50 |





