










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1287 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 548 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 654 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,958 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mastablasta | 49% | 102 |
| #2 | griZZly64 | 47% | 91 |
| #3 | SlapStik805 | 27% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mastablasta | 49% | 102 |
| #2 | griZZly64 | 47% | 91 |
| #3 | SlapStik805 | 27% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mastablasta | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | griZZly64 | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | SlapStik805 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mastablasta | 165 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | griZZly64 | 138 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | SlapStik805 | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | griZZly64 | +1.63 | 68 | 44 |
| #2 | ![]() amuh | +1.62 | 74 | 45 |
| #3 | mastablasta | -2.01 | 48 | 54 |
| #4 | SlapStik805 | -2.51 | 37 | 38 |






