








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3688 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,775 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4994 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5378 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2795 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3608 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,237 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiber owning millionaire | 56% | 232 |
| #2 | yeltrah | 55% | 152 |
| #3 | pee pee hands | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | buzzh_h | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiber owning millionaire | 56% | 232 |
| #2 | yeltrah | 55% | 152 |
| #3 | pee pee hands | 54% | 61 |
| #4 | buzzh_h | 53% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiber owning millionaire | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | yeltrah | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | pee pee hands | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | buzzh_h | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | buzzh_h | 780 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | fiber owning millionaire | 444 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #3 | yeltrah | 305 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | pee pee hands | 30 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiber owning millionaire | +1.13 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | yeltrah | +0.70 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | duffy | +0.65 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | pee pee hands | -0.38 | 66 | 28 |
| #5 | buzzh_h | -0.54 | 53 | 69 |





