








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,052 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 260 | 25% |
| Smokes | 326 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 237 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 229 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,338 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I WANNA KISS SORASAKI HINA | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Xxdarkhavenxx | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | meowstake | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | KryptedDNA | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | meow | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | meow | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | echeveria | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | gercillah | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | yumi kumi | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | 76561198402543033 | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meowstake | 6 | 0.0571 |
| #2 | gercillah | 5 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | KryptedDNA | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Xxdarkhavenxx | 2 | 0.0131 |
| #5 | echeveria | 2 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KryptedDNA | 40 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | 76561198402543033 | 33 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | gercillah | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | yumi kumi | 18 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | meowstake | 14 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yumi kumi | +6.79 | 99 | 34 |
| #2 | meow | +6.74 | 100 | 3 |
| #3 | echeveria | +4.69 | 88 | 44 |
| #4 | [Gamers Against Weed] asterism | +2.58 | 85 | 37 |
| #5 | Xxdarkhavenxx | -0.09 | 75 | 19 |





