








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 294 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3261 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5497 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5408 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4050 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,097 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 106 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick | 54% | 57 |
| #2 | Keycobuns.ttv | 52% | 101 |
| #3 | spalo | 51% | 35 |
| #4 | MelloW | 48% | 277 |
| #5 | PokohNo | 47% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PokohNo | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | UnreaL | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MelloW | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Nick | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Keycobuns.ttv | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PokohNo | 578 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Nick | 178 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | UnreaL | 122 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Keycobuns.ttv | 70 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | MelloW | 69 | 0.01 | 2 min |





