








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 819 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 61,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16465 | 27% |
| Smokes | 14267 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 15682 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 14765 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,272,417 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 466 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CONSTANTINE | 65% | 180 |
| #2 | ptown- | 65% | 124 |
| #3 | UberJellyDonut | 63% | 173 |
| #4 | LeaD | 62% | 155 |
| #5 | surebud | 60% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ptown- | 65% | 124 |
| #3 | UberJellyDonut | 63% | 173 |
| #4 | LeaD | 62% | 155 |
| #5 | surebud | 60% | 60 |
| #6 | feLLa C | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UberJellyDonut | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | feLLa C | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | ptown- | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | CONSTANTINE | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | LeaD | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeaD | 565 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | CONSTANTINE | 452 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | ptown- | 385 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | surebud | 236 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | UberJellyDonut | 182 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kENZiRL | +1.39 | 66 | 77 |
| #2 | UberJellyDonut | +1.37 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | LeaD | +0.57 | 49 | 72 |
| #4 | surebud | -0.01 | 74 | 74 |
| #5 | CONSTANTINE | -0.01 | 48 | 69 |





