








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
954 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1545 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 681 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 936 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,501 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | down | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | Akroski | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | k ̷A̷LLE. | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | jsn | 46% | 116 |
| #5 | schm么li | 43% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | k ̷A̷LLE. | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | jsn | 46% | 116 |
| #5 | schm么li | 43% | 51 |
| #6 | Shu | 38% | 21 |
| #7 | Ni Hao Fine Shyt | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsn | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Akroski | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | k ̷A̷LLE. | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | down | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Shu | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jsn | 174 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | k ̷A̷LLE. | 161 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | down | 121 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shu | 72 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Akroski | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shu | +2.96 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | k ̷A̷LLE. | +1.09 | 64 | 76 |
| #3 | down | +0.59 | 49 | 72 |
| #4 | Akroski | +0.45 | 66 | 69 |
| #5 | jsn | +0.10 | 53 | 61 |





