








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1658 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2326 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2406 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2668 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1788 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $623,857 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brickhead97 | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | LarsIG | 72% | 29 |
| #3 | OΛ ¦ GorgoBert | 67% | 36 |
| #4 | Rederion | 59% | 68 |
| #5 | Bada | 58% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | DragonBlood | 48% | 29 |
| #10 | [OPE] Antim8_23 | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | Get|Ma|Rekt シ | 38% | 16 |
| #12 | Smokestein | 36% | 28 |
| #13 | JuMbo99 | 28% | 25 |





