








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1016 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 688 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 767 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $140,007 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikke | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Ma1Lz ツ | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | quMp | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | nashje | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | pwder | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ma1Lz ツ | +1.12 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | M A K K E | +1.04 | 79 | 70 |
| #3 | gaslipstick | +1.04 | 81 | 82 |
| #4 | pwder | +0.88 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | mikke | +0.28 | 79 | 82 |





