








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
432 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 484 | 33% |
| Smokes | 259 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 320 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,517 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frenix | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | bobbiiw0w | 100% | 5 |
| #3 | Einbu | 88% | 8 |
| #4 | Johs- | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | Einmann | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawkers ;X | 4 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Einmann | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | p00t | 1 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Johs- | 1 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | hellbit | 1 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lawkers ;X | 79 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Einmann | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | p00t | 27 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Einbu | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | hellbit | 19 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobbiiw0w | +5.97 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Frenix | +3.91 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Einbu | +3.74 | 93 | 70 |
| #4 | Lawkers ;X | +1.57 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Einmann | +0.97 | 79 | 57 |





