








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,215 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 601 | 27% |
| Smokes | 304 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 821 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 489 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,755 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemonkey | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | bob | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Th1nkeR | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Liutke | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Awowogei | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Vyzha | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Cavalieriuss | 50% | 8 |
| #8 | fallencelestial | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | Farsas | 48% | 23 |
| #10 | soBis` | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th1nkeR | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Lemonkey | 2 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | bob | 1 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Farsas | 92 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | soBis` | 58 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Awowogei | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Liutke | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | fallencelestial | 23 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fallencelestial | +2.74 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | Awowogei | +2.36 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | Cavalieriuss | +2.15 | 60 | 61 |
| #4 | Lemonkey | +0.94 | 85 | 58 |
| #5 | Th1nkeR | +0.82 | 46 | 39 |





