








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 507 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2139 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2629 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2272 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1435 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1723 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,436,287 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Kush_Killer | 50% | 267 |
| #3 | knk.jacker | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | Moose | 33% | 45 |
| #5 | ABDI [no eyes, no mouse] | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Kush_Killer | 50% | 267 |
| #3 | knk.jacker | 38% | 21 |
| #4 | Moose | 33% | 45 |
| #5 | ABDI [no eyes, no mouse] | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush_Killer | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Moose | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | knk.jacker | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kush_Killer | 687 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 | 188 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #3 | Moose | 121 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | knk.jacker | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ABDI [no eyes, no mouse] | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 | +1.28 | 44 | 80 |
| #2 | Kush_Killer | +0.19 | 43 | 60 |
| #3 | ★ iSing4You | +0.07 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | Moose | -0.36 | 54 | 53 |
| #5 | ABDI [no eyes, no mouse] | -0.37 | 68 | 57 |





