








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 154 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9933 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,582 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9136 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3705 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 7156 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5585 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,211,843 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | villin | 86 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | NvPl2 | 27 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Snow | 20 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | 2000 Nissan S15 Silvia | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Slim Haydey | 6 | 0.0047 |





